Banish the Back-to-School Bewilderment
Okay we played a little too hard with the 'B' theme there :)
Here in the Kansas City area we are in the full swing of the back to school time. Every year, we notice that this shift in routine and energy affects most all of our clients, whether they are currently part of school systems or not. Schedules, routines, business hours, traffic patterns, and more change with the start of the school year. Everyone is adjusting, and most everyone is a little (or a lot) stressed at the moment.
We encourage all our clients to practice some self compassion, be ready to be flexible, and potentially take the opportunity to re-evaluate routines and systems for the upcoming seasonal shift.
Families with school-aged children...we see you...some of us are you! We know you've been managing the checklists, the supplies, the wardrobe updates (how did they grow this much over summer?!), the school events, the calendar adjustments, and the likely multitude of emotions that show up in households during this time. It can be really normal to see some minor increases in anxiety, irritability, tearfulness, separation anxiety, and even minor regressions (anyone else's kids forget how to brush their teeth independently over the course of the last week?) To be fair to our kids, heading back to the classroom can be a BIG shift, and these feelings and behaviors are just a few ways of expressing the discomfort and lack of autonomy most kids experience in these big changes.
As adults we sometimes forget that kids are asked to make huge shifts in how they are able to respond to bodily cues; have little to no control over sensory input that can be highly dysregulating; are exposed to social demands; and are asked to be "on", engaged, and following rules in a structured enviornment, after many of them have been in less structured environments for the last three months. We may also be shifting the structure in our own homes to accommodate for sleep schedules, extracurricular activities, school prep, homework, and more.
Creating, communicating, and practicing routines at home can help ease this transition. Predictable expectations can increase the sense of safety and reduce anxiety for children, especially for before and after school times. Following the same steps, in the same order, helps to build consistency and certainty, and can make routines simpler for the whole household. Having established routines can also help parents too! As a gift to you, I'm sharing my household's morning routine chart, most appropriate for early-elementary through early-middle school children. Early-elementary will likely need a lot more support to complete, whereas after some practice, some older kids may be able to complete the chart somewhat independently.
To use this chart: print, laminate if you want it to last longer, cut along the dotted lines, and then fold each tab in half upward so the bottom star meets the top star. Adding small magnets or velcro to each of the stars allow the tabs to stay flipped up when a task is complete. For the first few rounds, walk your child through each step, and then remind them to flip the tab as they complete each task. Alternately you could place a magnet or other reusable marker on top of each category when a task is complete instead of folding, or laminate and use a dry-erase marker to check off each task when complete.
Download a printable copy here:
Parents of kids with different support needs: we see you, and some of us are you, too. We know these transitions aren't just small shifts in your home. Changing demands can cause major nervous system dysregulation that reverberates through the whole household. You're holding space for whether your child will have social connections, whether their needs will be met, whether accommodations will be enough support, and whether everyone that interacts with them will see the same brilliantly amazing kid you do. We're here for you too.
If by mid-September your child is still exhibiting frequent increased anxiety or irritability, has lost interest in preferred activities, acts more withdrawn, cries easily, separation from you is an ongoing struggle, meltdowns happen at every transition, you're getting calls about behavior or emotions from school, their eating habits have changed, or if you just know something isn't right, asking for support from a professional can help. At Seeds of Change Counseling & Consulting we support children and adults with transitions, anxiety, depression, ADHD, Autism, parenting support and more. We also have providers with experience in education settings that can help you and your child access the supports needed at school. Click here to set up a free consultation call today.
Comments